Queen of the Goblins

i want this

ATTN: MEN. Just FYI

Friends do NOT suck on their friends necks. They also do NOT spoon

Agents do NOT describe their clients buttocks as "juicy"

Exboyfriends do NOT tell their ex girlfriends they are terminally ill to get a hug

Boyfriends do NOT say haha after forgetting to call their girlfriends for days, weeks, months...

Dads do NOT add their daughters on facebook

Friends' dads do NOT ask the dad for a dinner with his daughter. That's WEIRD

say hello to the Diana of the day

I curled my hair with pincurls overnight like they did in the 40s. Needless to say, i didn't get any sleep. I'm a wild sleeper, I like turning and jumping on top of people and kicking and fighting and ultimately NOT SLEEPING. But I do fall asleep after all the action. Without it, I just...don't sleep.

Instead, i had a terrible nightmare- two, in fact. In the first one, my hair had turned black because of the lack of sun in London.

Pause for giggles. Whatever. It's one of my serious concerns. I was told the other day that my hair was "brown". Now, not that I have anything against brown hair, but I'm a blonde...I don't wanna change now, after all the practice...)

Then I dreamt that me and my friend came across this weirdo, and he started raping her, there, in front of my eyes. It was disgusting.

And I found myself wondering..why is she getting all the attention?

God, how fucking insecure am I!

Plead to jean designers

My hips don't fit in your 24 size. When they do, the pants are huge on the legs. I don't have fat legs and don't want to, either. So please...less fabric for the legs, more fabric for my bum.

Thank you.

xoxo

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Dear high-waist-jeans makers,

I have NEVER been able to buy one of your jeans. My waist-hip ratio is the one thing I like about myself. So please, less fabric on the waist, and more fabric for my hips.

xoxo

Diana